Wednesday, November 08, 2006

This obsession is my call, holding Body Mind and Soul

Oh i do dearly love Starfield
http://www.cmcmusic.ca/images/featured_artist/starfield.jpg
Though they are butt ugly- they make nice music (even though people say they are plaegerised songs...lets just say that the people they were 'inspired' by play V. well.)
I should be studying geography for the school certificate, but bollucks to Human rights and Urban sprawl, i dont feel like it.
Im rather inspired to turn this into a nice D&M Blog- beause thats what everyone does now days.
Lots and lots of feelings.
And i have lots of D&M things to say occassionally- i have a diary at home that i self-blog in, but this can be bliugs intended for public viewing, a changing of attitudes and a persuasion of ideas. Oh ho ho.
What can i say? Humm...
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ACTING THE NOOB
It is hard to act the noob- especailly when you have pride like mine. No- i don't mean churchy noob, as in the assembly-organisers who have been called the N00bs, but i mean, acting like the newboie- the person who doesn't know anything.
And i dont really mean to say 'act'. I mean being the Noob- no one wants to be the noob because everyone hates the noobs.
Why do people hate noobs?
Its because everyone wants to be experienced, we all want o be experts.
Like in fantasy- the most admired are the God-mod charcters, the people who can do everything perfectly- or perhaps just one thing very very well. Like legolas. He looks good, he can shoot arrows, he's elven, he has blonde hair- the Works! he's probably be shooting those arrows for a long time, and is very experienced, he knows what his doing. Same with Aragon. Very cool, because they are experts in their field.
Everyone wants to be like Legolas and Aragon, or the hunter chick in the Brothers Grim (that was a weird movie, especailly when the french dude kicks the kitten into the big machine of death).
Why do we want to be experts?
Because we want to show off- its cool to be awatched and admired. We all like it, being superior, to be able to tell others what to do, not because you are bossy, but because you are respected because yo have had more knowledge than everyone else. Its not nescesarily a bad thing- just the way humans are.

But when you are in a situation where you are a complete n00b- you can't be an expert, cos you're not! You can't pretend to know something htat you don't, to join a conversation where you know whats going on or what they're saying, you can't pretend to execute something well physically if yoouve never learnt the techiniques or practices.
All experts have to start noobs. But thats not the point.

My point is the embracing of Noob-ship, to acknowledge that- NO, you're not an expert here.

That is something very hard to do, especailly when yoou have an ego like mine. and a love for fantasy like me to :D

These thoughts came from Grade sport- Tai Kwon Do. Oh it is fun. this is the perfect anti-noob senario, because tai kwon do and matial arts are also very fantasy ish.
I have never done any martial arts training. My sisters have, but i missed the boat, due to be trapped in a mother's stomach. Never done it, though, like every fantasy lover, and a general interest in my own asian culture, i have thought about practising it, but i never got around to organising anything.
So when it came to tai kwon do, i was a natural noob. Can't stretch properly, my techinique is very noobular, just general noobness.
I suppose there was something in me, the something inside most of us teenagers, especailly the fanatsy ones, where there is that atmosphere that you are the protagonist of the epic saga of your life- and like in all books and movies, the protagnost finds something inherent in them that makes them incredibly uniquely special. THis is part of chracter development and everything wher ein the end of hte movie the character can successfuly make the atnagonist eat dust, totally show off and be awed by all those who dared to deny that they were special.
Good examples are Neo, Eragon, Harry Potter, Frodo, the guy from pricilla Queen of the desert, and MORE! Oh yea and Napolian Dynamite :D
Along with this, we all have this desire to be tough, to be fighters, because the mentioned protagonists above where such- they could fight, and they could deal out pain to those who dared oppose them. They were not to be messed with- they were HEROS. Yea.

So, with these two things in mind, let us step back into the dingy recesses of teh dark and desolate Hornsby Girls Gym, and listen to those roars of exertion as punches stab the air , dark and menacing eyes glittering with an imagination of toughness, of power and fiercness to those who in the past totally embarrased them in their own social awekwardness- those characters now stand in awe of your prowess, amazing that they ever thought you were just a weak and quiet asian. <- ... its a hypothetical scenario, i assure you :sweat:

But no- try as i might, i was still a noob, and the 'spirit of the tiger' was incased in an incompetant shell of inexperience. Now i could fight it, keep roaring and pretended i knew what i was doing. To show off, to be cool like Aragon and totally know exactly what the hobbits where doing when those riders came and killed the orcs that had them captive.
But no- i knew, all i would have smelt was yukky fake movie grass. No- it was not my place to pretend i was an expert.

I knew of the way i looked upon the noobs who thought they were anti-noobs, or hid their noobness with an antinoob air. It only made me more antinoob toward them, and they only looked more desperate, fake, and it was a chracterisitic in their personality, that constant persuite of attention through anti-noobeness, that i could not help find as an undesireable quality.
So i came to terms with myself. I would never accumulate true Anti-noob status unless i stole the memories and times and physice of those experts around me, the likes of kate, suchu and shrub and sam.
I said to Ta-ego: NO, i will not let you take over me.
And so, like a big block of cement learning to bend down and touch its non-exsistant toes, i let myself admire the precision of Suchu's kicks and the snap of the paddles when she did, and Shrubbus's board breaking Prowess. And i admired it with the quiet satisfaction that i didnt have to be competative here, i could just have fun trying to do tai kwon do. it was a nice feeling. Now thats a bit of character development for you.

So, readers, when it comes to you being a noob, embrace it, in a humble way- humbleness feels good to me, especially because its something that i know i needed to be working toward, but ms Ego got in the way. This was a good start, i feel.

3 comments:

shrub said...

No matter how anti-n00bular you are...there's always someone more anti-n00b. - azn proverb

That was also the longest blogspot post I have every seen.
Tabbus, its OKAY to gloat and cherish your many many talents! Just make sure you don't do it at the expense of other people. We have an ego for something, afterall: life would be a self esteemless hell-hole if we didn't have one.

Chinese Rose said...

do the chickens have talons?

Anonymous said...

Woah. Ta. So deep. I cant let go of my ego-ness, as i am all ego. Ego controls me. I'm Ralph!!! Hahahaha. You can be my piggy, or my dead airman, if you like.
There! Im being egoish again, making myself the protagonist and you the sidekick. i dont mean it really!
But that was a co9ol blog. and long. and i admire u greatly.
rock on!