Saturday, November 18, 2006

Follow me and you will see all the black and the white fade to grey..

i absolutly LOVE Jars of Clay
http://www.celebrityvalues.com/images/jars_of_clay_300.jpg

Hmm- thankeefor you comments- especially your's meegs set me straight. There seemed to be something of a hypocritical edge in my last Blog- and for that i apologies to me and you. there are always times when i have auch apathetic ness, and i guess ive never takien into account other people's positions in life.
But my main qualm lay with the total apathy to at least try and seek God and what you believe - laziness...and stuff. ._. agh i lost my juice

Anyway- i just read some of the things on that pokemon vs christian children link on SHrub's blog. what an age old debate. Actually, not that age old because it is a rather recent one involving Dan Brown and teh di vinci code.
When i was reading it i frowned - conflicting and rather bemused. Espeially because i loce role-playing games :D Pokemon and the Occult? never thought about that one.

yesterday in YF (youth fellowship) we were talkinga bout suffering, that Christians suffer because of their attitude, which is the attitude of Christ, and also have an attitude of Christ to Suffering.
I think it meant that as Christians, we have Christ's attitude to the world and to things- we know that for a lot of things int he world it is Bad, and therfore you find most Christians abstaining from things that the World takes pleasure in. I don't need to name any...XB

many christians, many churches encourage the abstinance from many of the popular things of the world, therefore. And recently we have heard upcries from churches about Harry Potter, Di Vinci Code and now Pokemon because of occultish undertones and bases and stuff.
Personally as a Lover of all things fantasy i can see that it seems stupid. YOu can discern fun from reality, and role playing with cards and pictures and wanting to beat someone in a game using your imagination surely isnt bad. Perhaps playing at an impressionable age when you aren't so solid about what you know about your faith and you let fantasy become reality and start applying the physics and forces that make Pokemon into you're own life- this can be harmful.

But when you know what you know, but love fantasy and you know the physics of fantasy but nkow it is a game- Knowing Dan Brown's book is in the fiction section of the library for a reason, and are aware of your doctrine and jsut want to enjoy the adventure and literary prowess of J.K Rowling- are you still be influenced, is it still dangerous? Does it lead to sin?

Another example of this could be Biology and evolution, which is also mentioned in said site. Evolution from a single celled organism is a widely accepted theory and people always use it as ammo against christianity. A lot of Christians shy away from mention of the theory becuase- like most things that poke fun at us- stuff that is used like ammo always makes us angry and makes us write angry angry blogs like this. We can't help it- we're passionate i suppose you could say.

But shying away from opposision and denying it doesnt really get us anyway, or the opposision anywhere. Avoiding things because they are bad- thats good. But sometimes we still need to be open minded- not fully accepting of the world and all its political correctness (accepting the world wholy is Baaad- because the world is wholy against God) but to understand their point of view, to learn about it, to question what you believe by challenging it, and not jsut accepting it, asking questions, knowing what you believe and why you do so you can defend yourself against the opposition with a legitmate answer that will make them ask their own questions.
So im rather looking forward to taking bio next year.

But there is also the fact that what this site has to say about abstaining from these sorts of things is that it is based in the best interest of Christian living. It has a point, even though maybe in reality it seems far-fetched. could it be that i am objecting to this "close-minded" view because i am so attatched to my fantasy? In all honesty i cannot think about my life without Fantasy because takes up so much of my imaginaton and art book.
Am ionly thinking it as "close-minded" because i deny the possible subtle influence of fantasy? thats an intersting thought.

No- think that if you are secure in waht you know- you are safe. There are points in fantasy where you should not cross, where the influence is too strong. I shuld always constantly review what i am sdoing, checking to make sure that it is not a foothold for the devil. But i don't think fantasy itself, is teh devil.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Now i am contemplating matters on this Cling and Clatter

I lOve Lifehouse too :D
http://image.listen.com/img/356x237/1/1/7/6/696711_356x237.jpg
Im sitten here, its 8:13 and ive missed my morning train- BUT THATS OK- because i dont have ti be at school for another hour. 9:44 is my train- Wooo :D
I actually woke up at 5:50 today to have ashower because its orchestra day, and iwas ready and everyithing and falling asleep on the coach infront of 10 news because there wasnt any cartoons on- and i thought; I dont want to go to orchestra today because im KNACKERED. And i go ALLLL the time, because ilike it,. but yesterday, because my violin teacher was sick, Innuendo took me to where all the big church people play touch-footy on fridays, and we just walked around the oval, i desplayed my awesome Kung-pow skills and "PALM-STRIKE!" and played tip.
So i had another hours sleep, and am getting ready to continue my drawing of Xeris Icetail the Lizard man, becuase he is part of the RP too- its going pretty well i reckon, but i think i should do my quiet time first.

Its pretty hard to do them, especuially when you were as kneckered as me- i started thinking about Drags and lizard men in a half daze instead of mumble. Woops- sorry GOd. so i had a sleep.

"I Love you, O Lord, my strength."

"I said to the Lord- Apart from you, i have no good thing."
PSALMS

I thought that was rather appropriate- thats why i like psalms. If you take teh time adn concentration you can see the pure emotion and devotion pslamist have for God- none of this boring snoring wishy washy blah stuff.
Now what sort of stuff is that?
What i meant to say, was, that Psalmist were very devoted to God- he was their life, and they spent their time praiseing him, becuase that was what they wanted to do.
I don't really appreciate it when people say they are christian, or another other religion/faith infact, but then they only think of it as PART of their identity- just something they do on the side. Just something that makes you a little bit more interesting or something. But i have to admit i do that too actually, a lot.

Thats not the point of faith is it? I dont think so. The more i think about it, all religions, to be of true faith, require 24 hour thought and time and effort. People lose their life for their faith- they follow it every day because when you're serious about your faith, you realise that your s[iritual self is far more important that the physical ones, and live in the light of that.
Real faith requires a full life change doesnt it?
But when people are "hard-core-Christians" or "Hard-core-Bhuddists", i think thats the only time someone is a REAL Christian or REAL bhuddist or Toaist or Catholic or Muslim. "Hard-core" refers to the life change, the constant effort and thought and living in the light of the spiritual instead of physical.
No one can be a chrisitan if they're watered down- if they';re only one on sundays, or if they don't really care to think or figure out what they really believe in. Thats when faith just becomes PART of your identity. Its wishy washy and not real.

I can't remember what they were looking at- maybe the two crucifix's i wear- one from my parentals and one from Shrub <3 They looked at it with interest- and sheepishly i sid: Yea, i guess im a bit radical.
When people think of Radical faith, they think of muslim extremists bombing things. I dont know anything about the muslim doctrine so i wont comment, but if you think of a Radical Christian, maybe you think of those Southern Americans in overals and a rifle, or sometimes, like they have on English crime sometimes, scary religious murderings and stuff in the name of God- oh yea and the Crusades.

But all those things came from reading tghe bible out of context, and it totally clashes with the christian doctrine- so that sort of RADICAL is more like a cult or sorts. A perversion of the Biblical truth.

When i said Radical, imeant "hard-core" for a better euphanism. I want to at least TRY and live my faith 24/7 (i say try because at the moment i am sucking at it, but at least im still trying) because i want tolive in the light of Heaven, to be a whitness and fulfil my purpose...generally i want to do what christians are meant to do Properly and with the right attitude.

but today, to be radical in any sense of teh word is waoaw- so not cool. In most places. People get scared when i "speak God-talk" , and to be honest its scary for me too, cos i dont want to scare anyone. Its cooler to be watered down. But then, thats not real.

If you have a faith- follow it with your whole heart- because it will matter in the end. Dont be watered down!

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

This obsession is my call, holding Body Mind and Soul

Oh i do dearly love Starfield
http://www.cmcmusic.ca/images/featured_artist/starfield.jpg
Though they are butt ugly- they make nice music (even though people say they are plaegerised songs...lets just say that the people they were 'inspired' by play V. well.)
I should be studying geography for the school certificate, but bollucks to Human rights and Urban sprawl, i dont feel like it.
Im rather inspired to turn this into a nice D&M Blog- beause thats what everyone does now days.
Lots and lots of feelings.
And i have lots of D&M things to say occassionally- i have a diary at home that i self-blog in, but this can be bliugs intended for public viewing, a changing of attitudes and a persuasion of ideas. Oh ho ho.
What can i say? Humm...
____________________________________________________________________
ACTING THE NOOB
It is hard to act the noob- especailly when you have pride like mine. No- i don't mean churchy noob, as in the assembly-organisers who have been called the N00bs, but i mean, acting like the newboie- the person who doesn't know anything.
And i dont really mean to say 'act'. I mean being the Noob- no one wants to be the noob because everyone hates the noobs.
Why do people hate noobs?
Its because everyone wants to be experienced, we all want o be experts.
Like in fantasy- the most admired are the God-mod charcters, the people who can do everything perfectly- or perhaps just one thing very very well. Like legolas. He looks good, he can shoot arrows, he's elven, he has blonde hair- the Works! he's probably be shooting those arrows for a long time, and is very experienced, he knows what his doing. Same with Aragon. Very cool, because they are experts in their field.
Everyone wants to be like Legolas and Aragon, or the hunter chick in the Brothers Grim (that was a weird movie, especailly when the french dude kicks the kitten into the big machine of death).
Why do we want to be experts?
Because we want to show off- its cool to be awatched and admired. We all like it, being superior, to be able to tell others what to do, not because you are bossy, but because you are respected because yo have had more knowledge than everyone else. Its not nescesarily a bad thing- just the way humans are.

But when you are in a situation where you are a complete n00b- you can't be an expert, cos you're not! You can't pretend to know something htat you don't, to join a conversation where you know whats going on or what they're saying, you can't pretend to execute something well physically if yoouve never learnt the techiniques or practices.
All experts have to start noobs. But thats not the point.

My point is the embracing of Noob-ship, to acknowledge that- NO, you're not an expert here.

That is something very hard to do, especailly when yoou have an ego like mine. and a love for fantasy like me to :D

These thoughts came from Grade sport- Tai Kwon Do. Oh it is fun. this is the perfect anti-noob senario, because tai kwon do and matial arts are also very fantasy ish.
I have never done any martial arts training. My sisters have, but i missed the boat, due to be trapped in a mother's stomach. Never done it, though, like every fantasy lover, and a general interest in my own asian culture, i have thought about practising it, but i never got around to organising anything.
So when it came to tai kwon do, i was a natural noob. Can't stretch properly, my techinique is very noobular, just general noobness.
I suppose there was something in me, the something inside most of us teenagers, especailly the fanatsy ones, where there is that atmosphere that you are the protagonist of the epic saga of your life- and like in all books and movies, the protagnost finds something inherent in them that makes them incredibly uniquely special. THis is part of chracter development and everything wher ein the end of hte movie the character can successfuly make the atnagonist eat dust, totally show off and be awed by all those who dared to deny that they were special.
Good examples are Neo, Eragon, Harry Potter, Frodo, the guy from pricilla Queen of the desert, and MORE! Oh yea and Napolian Dynamite :D
Along with this, we all have this desire to be tough, to be fighters, because the mentioned protagonists above where such- they could fight, and they could deal out pain to those who dared oppose them. They were not to be messed with- they were HEROS. Yea.

So, with these two things in mind, let us step back into the dingy recesses of teh dark and desolate Hornsby Girls Gym, and listen to those roars of exertion as punches stab the air , dark and menacing eyes glittering with an imagination of toughness, of power and fiercness to those who in the past totally embarrased them in their own social awekwardness- those characters now stand in awe of your prowess, amazing that they ever thought you were just a weak and quiet asian. <- ... its a hypothetical scenario, i assure you :sweat:

But no- try as i might, i was still a noob, and the 'spirit of the tiger' was incased in an incompetant shell of inexperience. Now i could fight it, keep roaring and pretended i knew what i was doing. To show off, to be cool like Aragon and totally know exactly what the hobbits where doing when those riders came and killed the orcs that had them captive.
But no- i knew, all i would have smelt was yukky fake movie grass. No- it was not my place to pretend i was an expert.

I knew of the way i looked upon the noobs who thought they were anti-noobs, or hid their noobness with an antinoob air. It only made me more antinoob toward them, and they only looked more desperate, fake, and it was a chracterisitic in their personality, that constant persuite of attention through anti-noobeness, that i could not help find as an undesireable quality.
So i came to terms with myself. I would never accumulate true Anti-noob status unless i stole the memories and times and physice of those experts around me, the likes of kate, suchu and shrub and sam.
I said to Ta-ego: NO, i will not let you take over me.
And so, like a big block of cement learning to bend down and touch its non-exsistant toes, i let myself admire the precision of Suchu's kicks and the snap of the paddles when she did, and Shrubbus's board breaking Prowess. And i admired it with the quiet satisfaction that i didnt have to be competative here, i could just have fun trying to do tai kwon do. it was a nice feeling. Now thats a bit of character development for you.

So, readers, when it comes to you being a noob, embrace it, in a humble way- humbleness feels good to me, especially because its something that i know i needed to be working toward, but ms Ego got in the way. This was a good start, i feel.

Monday, November 06, 2006

Just sittn' here, chuckin' a shrub...havin' a bud...true

YES i am chucking a shrub- IM POSTING ON BLOGSPOT! what-the?
I shuld be finishing articulating my Exo talk. its on God and STUDY and its fully hard man. its such a broad topic. Its just like me, saying im going to do a talk...on Jesus.

See what i mean? But no- i ate too muc rummy roast pork and double-creme potato bake, so im too phat to be Deep and meaningful at the moment.
oh and occationally im pressing my finger into a bag of Heinz Baby peas; extra sweet and juicy, because i burnt my finger on the potato gems tray.

its so odd having no homework. i end up sitting at my compyall day drawing, and then i feel all crazy-im meant to be doing something productive, but i really cant be bothered, even though i really dont want to do this anymore. Yes, sometimes even drawing looses its lustre. I need homework to apprciate the things i love i suppose.
hey i feel so important- i got to write a message for teh day sheet for Exo to put in tomorrow.
hayles added Yo-yo-yo, EXO (or X, O) ma bro, at the top, so all yall people who have people reading out the daysheet can sound uber cool :D Im just imagining Ms Gamble doing it :D Oh ho ho ho .

Ms innuendo revealed to me that psycologists are for those who have a secret yearning to hurt small animals and babies. She was here studying it a while ago. yes, you are fully qualified as a psycologist if yo have these inner yearnings- you get to scare a baby every time it holds a rat by banging a peice of metal really hard behind its head, and feed heroin to rats, cut out parts of a cat's brain which makes them still while they sleep, so when they dream all their limbs start waving around, and have teh scientific liscence to steal candy from a baby.

Now thats waht i call a highly payed and elite proffession for you.

Saturday, November 04, 2006

THIS IS MY FIRST BLOG HERE IN BLOGGER

man. so fancy. So much better than my space.