A pretty weird Film Clip, same goes with his hat, but the song is totally cool.
Friday, January 26, 2007
Thursday, January 25, 2007
I thought i just saw your eyelids rise, the thought of something restless, caught you by surprise...
the death of my Grandmother is a strange affair.
My grandma died when she was ...89, or so her death certificate would say. My dad says that she is actually something like 91- because she lied about her age, but it never really made much difference, because for about 20 years she looked exactly the same- she had white whispy hair tied into a funny little pony tail with a rubber band, she had wrikly yellow skin and tiny little asian eyes and wore old-people vests and slipper and trackpants and smelt like tiger balm or old-people cooking cabbage.
She had asthma and didnt like to treat it for some reason, and because her granny flat has had carpet since forever and her breath is always a constant low rasp, and so you could alwyas tell when she was coming down the hall to check doors and windows were locked and then harass you about why they weren't, or to comment on your violin practice or laugh at the photo of you on your table becuase of your upper lip hair. >8( But you can't run away becuase its not like she was blind to see you bolting away down the corridor so you would just have to wait till she made it to the door of your room :)
Its not that i hated it, it was just routine, and i got very used to it and everything, because it lasted like that for the 16 years i was alive. Am alive...
My grandma was born in China, my dad says, and then moved to Hong Kong where she lived next to a little fishing village at hte top of a big hill that had lots of stairs. Her father was a hot shot criminal lawyer and so she went to UNi too and trained as a lawyer, but i dont think she ever became one. She married...a man- i dont know anything about my grandpa, except that he taught english to the ...army. I think it was the british army, but they were chinese :)
So Lai Kan Chan pretty muched handled the whole household and its expences and its walls together every weekday when Mr Chan had to stay in the barracks for work, and when he did come around each weekend she would do everything to make his favourite food. Appanrently Food was held in very high reguard by G.Pa Chan so she went to very special effort. Mrs Lai Kan Chan did this all whilst running a small school for hte cute little fisherman's kids. SO she was a teacher too.
And then after Mr Chan died from cancer, My dad and G.ma Chan came to Australia for oppertunitied for Dad's career.
My Grandma lived with my dad then, and then for the 23 years they were married. :D Everyone called my mum a saint for living with her mother in law for all of the years that mum and dad went 'out' and then when they got married. But mum says it was no problem, because Mamma was really independant. During all of her 80s Mamma was Uber sharp in the brain and knew exactly what she was on about and what was going on. Her legs weren't as fast to catch us though :)
I guess as grandkids, who live with they're grandma, it was really easy to take Mamma for granted. Becauyse mamma was an Asian grandma, and you know asian Grandmas. All that tedious routine of trying to expain your laziness of WHY you didn't lock the door, and of course you can't say you were not bothered to do it because that dousn't translate verywell in broken english, or canto, for that matter.
And all that nagging. I dont think i copped much, it was mainly my dad, but still, you always got the impression thatMamma was always paranoid about everything and everything and everything, and she couldnt 'Chill-ax' like a young'un.
Plus, everyhting meaningful my grandma wasid was in Canto, so i never got a peice of her mind. It might have been nice if i did, i wonder, because all i got from Mamma was the paranoid routine part. Apparently, Mamma was an incredibly strongly opinionated woman, sharp and informed and questioning of social issues. One particular issue of her youth dad was talking about the yum cha after the funeral, was of her beef with organised religion and the hypocricy of the church. unfortunatly, i can't remember how God finally won her over, so i can't tell you. Its still a bit of a fuzzy mystery of how Mamma became a christian, but i guess out family clings to the fact that mamma went to Saint Phil's church down our street, and that she did study the bible. I guess i never really hear of Dad talkinga bout God+mamma too much to know.
but its crazy, because God + Mamma was all i could cling to when her funeral came around. I've never had any immediate Human family die before, and so mamma's funeral was the first ever. (i say human because Guinea pigs don't classify as humans :( )
Her death came around as her body functions stopped working. It was a pretty fast demise, in some aspects. Mamma took a fall one night. It was uber freaky to wake up to her screaming da's chinese name at 4 in the morning, and as i am the closest to her room i had to run and get dad. She was pretty shaken, and for a good reason, because she had broken...the femur? i dunno what bone, but its meant to tbe the stronfest bone in the body, and it snapped. Ostioperosis, mum says. mamma never liked milk. And i guess where she lived, there was not much, so she guessed no need.
She went to hospital, but then suddenly, out of no where her alzhimers (sp) which had been creeping up a few months prior, sort of crashed onto her brain.
She forgot she couldnt walk, and broke her other leg. She recovered in Hospital again, but wasn't that independant mamma again. That mamma walked to eastwood by herself all the time and cook and understood things. This mamma was a bed ridden lil' ol' asian lady who couldn't walk and had to eat gross boiled hospital mush. I know, becuase when we visited her she made us eat it. And it was...it sort of made you very aware of the grossness of sickiness and gangrene and stuff in hospitals.
Well, by that time, it had already solidified in my brain that mamma would never be the same. And it was weird when my oldest sister, who found herself bonding with mamma the most in those last few months than in her whole life, said that she never wanted to grow into such a state that your family just waits for you to die, and wonders why it takes so long, because thats what i found myself doing. Not because i wanted her to die, but it sort of gave me and idea of my distant relationship with Mamma, made even more distant because we lived so close to each other- it was a 'heartless Azn' relationship, and it disgusted me to think that i almost felt like i din care about my own grandma, who lived so close, yet was so far. This was the most apparent when we said out last goodbyes two days before she left.
Now that was a weird night. My sister, when i saw her, had a red face and big puffy eyes from crying. I didnt cry- and the nurse shoo-ed me away during my last goodbye because we were disturbing the other patients because it was like 11:30 pm. But that was alright, because i din have much to say. when i went outside again all i wanted to do was figure out WHY i wasn't crying. Isnt the death of someone your meant to love hurt a lot more than it does right now?? It was incredibly frustrating and frightening.
I guess, it boiled down to a couple of things, and then some excuses that i made. I dont know if they're true or not. I guess, it felt like mamma didnt have much of an impact on my life, being so far- a big cantonese language barrier in the way, and, just the general taking for granted-ness part of everything.
The other one is that because her mental and physical state started failing so dramtically, i was just waiting for it. and then i just got angry at myself for the waiting part. Grandma/Grandaughter relationships aren't meant to be like that surely. Plus, i know i would bawl my eyes out if my other grandparents died (on my mums side) Thats sucks.
There was nothing i could do to fix what i felt or what our relationship was like, but God comforted me in the knowledge that i could thank someone for who she was and how she was made and what she had done and how she loved, becuase in reality all that nagging and paranoia was done in love and nothing else. and i knew God was tell her what i thanked him for when she got there- and yea :) I guess, after life i could honor her by remembering who she was. Sometimes its kind of hard because my most thoughtful htoughts of grandma came form the time when she was fading, not when she was being taken for granted, so i remeber so much of her weakness and frailty. Thats definatly something she would not like to be remembered by, and iknow she can see me so i try to forget that cos thats just creapy.
But something else i was incredibly grantful for was something that i knew nonone else but God gave me. I dont even know why he gave it to me in that moment. The night i said goodbye, after my frustration, i was struck by nothing else buthe frailty of death. That there was only a tiny bit of time because i would assuredly see her again. For some reason, God made it so apparent that death had nothing of Mamma, because at the end of time she and me would be resurrected together for the new jerusalem. In thessalonians it says in better words, that 'don't grieve and cry in despair like the pagans do, because those who are dead are just sleeping.' And when Jesus was about to raise the little girl back to life, he said she was 'just sleeping'.
Its crazy, because, it sounds morbid, but death is almost everything i aspire to. It holds everything that has meaning and is the door to the purpose of my life. I mean, it starts in sunday school at church, and its strange becuase this attitude to death is so silent and solid in your heart you forget its there. And when you come to a time when everything Physical is laid bear, when you looking into that big drain that sucks the meaning and purpose out of all physical toil in your life on earth, you just have YOu, and God, and then peace.
Its not weird and morbid when i walk into her house. maybe a little bit weird, but not really. Because it feels like she's just left the house for a bit. But her old-woman cabbage smell still lingers :)And its equally weird when i look at a picture of her, becuase its like all thats left of her now is felt and made out of plasticy paper. She's just 2D. But thats only Physically.
It will be nice seeing her again, after all this actualisation and stuff.
My grandma died when she was ...89, or so her death certificate would say. My dad says that she is actually something like 91- because she lied about her age, but it never really made much difference, because for about 20 years she looked exactly the same- she had white whispy hair tied into a funny little pony tail with a rubber band, she had wrikly yellow skin and tiny little asian eyes and wore old-people vests and slipper and trackpants and smelt like tiger balm or old-people cooking cabbage.
She had asthma and didnt like to treat it for some reason, and because her granny flat has had carpet since forever and her breath is always a constant low rasp, and so you could alwyas tell when she was coming down the hall to check doors and windows were locked and then harass you about why they weren't, or to comment on your violin practice or laugh at the photo of you on your table becuase of your upper lip hair. >8( But you can't run away becuase its not like she was blind to see you bolting away down the corridor so you would just have to wait till she made it to the door of your room :)
Its not that i hated it, it was just routine, and i got very used to it and everything, because it lasted like that for the 16 years i was alive. Am alive...
My grandma was born in China, my dad says, and then moved to Hong Kong where she lived next to a little fishing village at hte top of a big hill that had lots of stairs. Her father was a hot shot criminal lawyer and so she went to UNi too and trained as a lawyer, but i dont think she ever became one. She married...a man- i dont know anything about my grandpa, except that he taught english to the ...army. I think it was the british army, but they were chinese :)
So Lai Kan Chan pretty muched handled the whole household and its expences and its walls together every weekday when Mr Chan had to stay in the barracks for work, and when he did come around each weekend she would do everything to make his favourite food. Appanrently Food was held in very high reguard by G.Pa Chan so she went to very special effort. Mrs Lai Kan Chan did this all whilst running a small school for hte cute little fisherman's kids. SO she was a teacher too.
And then after Mr Chan died from cancer, My dad and G.ma Chan came to Australia for oppertunitied for Dad's career.
My Grandma lived with my dad then, and then for the 23 years they were married. :D Everyone called my mum a saint for living with her mother in law for all of the years that mum and dad went 'out' and then when they got married. But mum says it was no problem, because Mamma was really independant. During all of her 80s Mamma was Uber sharp in the brain and knew exactly what she was on about and what was going on. Her legs weren't as fast to catch us though :)
I guess as grandkids, who live with they're grandma, it was really easy to take Mamma for granted. Becauyse mamma was an Asian grandma, and you know asian Grandmas. All that tedious routine of trying to expain your laziness of WHY you didn't lock the door, and of course you can't say you were not bothered to do it because that dousn't translate verywell in broken english, or canto, for that matter.
And all that nagging. I dont think i copped much, it was mainly my dad, but still, you always got the impression thatMamma was always paranoid about everything and everything and everything, and she couldnt 'Chill-ax' like a young'un.
Plus, everyhting meaningful my grandma wasid was in Canto, so i never got a peice of her mind. It might have been nice if i did, i wonder, because all i got from Mamma was the paranoid routine part. Apparently, Mamma was an incredibly strongly opinionated woman, sharp and informed and questioning of social issues. One particular issue of her youth dad was talking about the yum cha after the funeral, was of her beef with organised religion and the hypocricy of the church. unfortunatly, i can't remember how God finally won her over, so i can't tell you. Its still a bit of a fuzzy mystery of how Mamma became a christian, but i guess out family clings to the fact that mamma went to Saint Phil's church down our street, and that she did study the bible. I guess i never really hear of Dad talkinga bout God+mamma too much to know.
but its crazy, because God + Mamma was all i could cling to when her funeral came around. I've never had any immediate Human family die before, and so mamma's funeral was the first ever. (i say human because Guinea pigs don't classify as humans :( )
Her death came around as her body functions stopped working. It was a pretty fast demise, in some aspects. Mamma took a fall one night. It was uber freaky to wake up to her screaming da's chinese name at 4 in the morning, and as i am the closest to her room i had to run and get dad. She was pretty shaken, and for a good reason, because she had broken...the femur? i dunno what bone, but its meant to tbe the stronfest bone in the body, and it snapped. Ostioperosis, mum says. mamma never liked milk. And i guess where she lived, there was not much, so she guessed no need.
She went to hospital, but then suddenly, out of no where her alzhimers (sp) which had been creeping up a few months prior, sort of crashed onto her brain.
She forgot she couldnt walk, and broke her other leg. She recovered in Hospital again, but wasn't that independant mamma again. That mamma walked to eastwood by herself all the time and cook and understood things. This mamma was a bed ridden lil' ol' asian lady who couldn't walk and had to eat gross boiled hospital mush. I know, becuase when we visited her she made us eat it. And it was...it sort of made you very aware of the grossness of sickiness and gangrene and stuff in hospitals.
Well, by that time, it had already solidified in my brain that mamma would never be the same. And it was weird when my oldest sister, who found herself bonding with mamma the most in those last few months than in her whole life, said that she never wanted to grow into such a state that your family just waits for you to die, and wonders why it takes so long, because thats what i found myself doing. Not because i wanted her to die, but it sort of gave me and idea of my distant relationship with Mamma, made even more distant because we lived so close to each other- it was a 'heartless Azn' relationship, and it disgusted me to think that i almost felt like i din care about my own grandma, who lived so close, yet was so far. This was the most apparent when we said out last goodbyes two days before she left.
Now that was a weird night. My sister, when i saw her, had a red face and big puffy eyes from crying. I didnt cry- and the nurse shoo-ed me away during my last goodbye because we were disturbing the other patients because it was like 11:30 pm. But that was alright, because i din have much to say. when i went outside again all i wanted to do was figure out WHY i wasn't crying. Isnt the death of someone your meant to love hurt a lot more than it does right now?? It was incredibly frustrating and frightening.
I guess, it boiled down to a couple of things, and then some excuses that i made. I dont know if they're true or not. I guess, it felt like mamma didnt have much of an impact on my life, being so far- a big cantonese language barrier in the way, and, just the general taking for granted-ness part of everything.
The other one is that because her mental and physical state started failing so dramtically, i was just waiting for it. and then i just got angry at myself for the waiting part. Grandma/Grandaughter relationships aren't meant to be like that surely. Plus, i know i would bawl my eyes out if my other grandparents died (on my mums side) Thats sucks.
There was nothing i could do to fix what i felt or what our relationship was like, but God comforted me in the knowledge that i could thank someone for who she was and how she was made and what she had done and how she loved, becuase in reality all that nagging and paranoia was done in love and nothing else. and i knew God was tell her what i thanked him for when she got there- and yea :) I guess, after life i could honor her by remembering who she was. Sometimes its kind of hard because my most thoughtful htoughts of grandma came form the time when she was fading, not when she was being taken for granted, so i remeber so much of her weakness and frailty. Thats definatly something she would not like to be remembered by, and iknow she can see me so i try to forget that cos thats just creapy.
But something else i was incredibly grantful for was something that i knew nonone else but God gave me. I dont even know why he gave it to me in that moment. The night i said goodbye, after my frustration, i was struck by nothing else buthe frailty of death. That there was only a tiny bit of time because i would assuredly see her again. For some reason, God made it so apparent that death had nothing of Mamma, because at the end of time she and me would be resurrected together for the new jerusalem. In thessalonians it says in better words, that 'don't grieve and cry in despair like the pagans do, because those who are dead are just sleeping.' And when Jesus was about to raise the little girl back to life, he said she was 'just sleeping'.
Its crazy, because, it sounds morbid, but death is almost everything i aspire to. It holds everything that has meaning and is the door to the purpose of my life. I mean, it starts in sunday school at church, and its strange becuase this attitude to death is so silent and solid in your heart you forget its there. And when you come to a time when everything Physical is laid bear, when you looking into that big drain that sucks the meaning and purpose out of all physical toil in your life on earth, you just have YOu, and God, and then peace.
Its not weird and morbid when i walk into her house. maybe a little bit weird, but not really. Because it feels like she's just left the house for a bit. But her old-woman cabbage smell still lingers :)And its equally weird when i look at a picture of her, becuase its like all thats left of her now is felt and made out of plasticy paper. She's just 2D. But thats only Physically.
It will be nice seeing her again, after all this actualisation and stuff.
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
WAHHH!
I was re reading my post and it hink i went off the topic a bit. .. atually, something else occured to me.
In the Book, Pi is confronted by all his religious leaders why are astonded that they are all approaching the same boy. When Pi has to explain why he is so devout to so many, he says trtuhfully that he just wants to love God.
I gues, if you dont see allt eh faces of the multifaced diamon, its easy to take God for cgranted, espeically me- when you only focus on the love part, we often feel patron to God, that God is our slave and ollwos obediently out of love. This is never the case if we truthfull remeber his power and authority over everyhting ever created. We should hold all faces up with the utmost importance becuase without it, we can't trully know God fully and fear him properly. To interupt your everyday jobs to fall on your knees and pray fervantly at excatly the same time without fail is an awesome sacrifice and igues it keeps you in line, stops you from growinga big head and makes you remember God's importance.
But the problem is, as idealic and uniting and beautiful a concept is to follow lots of diferent religions at once in love of God- well, it can never be done. All religions have their right and wrongs, and it all clashes.
Infact, when pi ran to his temple again after become a christian, it seems that he knew Christ as God- but to me it almost seems like his belief in christ was to know he exsists. it wasnt a complete belief, a complete follwoing. When things clash, your going to have to abandon diferent parts of religions to make it fit, and that jsut doesnt work if there is a write and wrong way to worship God.
There. Add that to the last post.
In the Book, Pi is confronted by all his religious leaders why are astonded that they are all approaching the same boy. When Pi has to explain why he is so devout to so many, he says trtuhfully that he just wants to love God.
I gues, if you dont see allt eh faces of the multifaced diamon, its easy to take God for cgranted, espeically me- when you only focus on the love part, we often feel patron to God, that God is our slave and ollwos obediently out of love. This is never the case if we truthfull remeber his power and authority over everyhting ever created. We should hold all faces up with the utmost importance becuase without it, we can't trully know God fully and fear him properly. To interupt your everyday jobs to fall on your knees and pray fervantly at excatly the same time without fail is an awesome sacrifice and igues it keeps you in line, stops you from growinga big head and makes you remember God's importance.
But the problem is, as idealic and uniting and beautiful a concept is to follow lots of diferent religions at once in love of God- well, it can never be done. All religions have their right and wrongs, and it all clashes.
Infact, when pi ran to his temple again after become a christian, it seems that he knew Christ as God- but to me it almost seems like his belief in christ was to know he exsists. it wasnt a complete belief, a complete follwoing. When things clash, your going to have to abandon diferent parts of religions to make it fit, and that jsut doesnt work if there is a write and wrong way to worship God.
There. Add that to the last post.
Not all monsters are bad there are some that are good- Never do what they could, never do what they could...
Jars of Clay again! when i went to koorong i got that with christmas money from Uncle George :D
I have no fear of drowning
its the breathing thats taking all this work...
And dear Suchu - thankyou for your very pretty and lengthy comment :D I lost the linkt oyour blog, which reminds me that i must find gen's to and add it to the list...if im abel to that is- all that coding is frightening.
And dear Meegs- thankyou for your very pretty but not lenthy comment, it was beautiful :D
Carry me-
im just a dead man
lying on the carpet
can't find aheart beat
Weeeeee :D
Make me breathe
i wanna be a new man
tired of the old one
out with the old plan
Anyway, i DO have something to blog about so i better turn my music down or i can't articulate it.
IT alll started one bright and sunny day when i was taking a train to the city to meet Ms Innuendo to watch Happy Feet. To pass the time i took along my handy dandy MP3 and the book Life of Pi.
I came upon chapter 16 (slow reader :D ) and i think its one of the most thought provoking passages i have ever read in a book. I really encouage you all to read it. Apparently, i might have dreamt it but i think it muight be an english text, but read it anyway!
In the book, young Pi, a very devout hindi boy, is finding himself stumbling into various holy houses- temples and churches and mosques.
I confess, that the chunk of passage that caught my thinking-ness the most was when he was looking at christianity from a Hindi perspective-because im bias, naturally :D Ill put it here:
"I was quiet that evening at the hotel. (he had just visited a priest and had been told the gosple)
That a god should put up with adversity, I could understand. The gods of Hinduism face their fair share of thieves, bullies, kidnappers and usurpers. What is the Ramayana but the account of one long, bad day of Rama? Adversity, yes. Reversals of fortune, yes. Treachery, yes, But humiliation? Death? I couldn't imagine Lord Krishna consenting to be stripped, naked, whipped, mocked, dragged through the streets and, to top it off, crucified- and at the hands of mere humans, to boot. I'd never heard of a Hindu god dying. Brahman Revealed did not go for death. Devils and monsters did, as did mortals, but the thousands and millions-that's what they were there for. Matter, too, fell away. But divity should not be blighten by death. Its wrong. The world soul cannot die, even in one contained part of it. it was wrong of this Christian God to let his avatar die. That is tantamount to letting a part of Himself die. For if the Son is to die, it cannot be fake...Father Martin assued me that it was (n't). But once a dead God, always a dead God, even resurrected. The Son must have the taste of death forever in His mouth. The Trinity must be tained by it; there must be a certain stench at the right hand of God the Father. The horror must be real. Why would God wish that upon Himself? Why not leave death to the morals? Why make dirty what is beautiful, spoil what is perfect?
Love. that was Father Martin's answer."
let me put one more paragraph..please... :D
"There is a story of Vishnu incarnated as Vamana the dwarf. He asks the demon king Bali only as much land as he can cover in three strides. Bali laughs at this run of a suitor and his puny erquest. he consents. Immediatly Vishnu takes on his full cosmic size. with one Stide he covers teh earth, with teh second the heavens, and with the third he boots Bali into the nether world...
That is God as God should be. With shine and poer and might. such as can rescue and save and put down evil.
This SOn, on teh other hand, who goes hungry, who suffers from thirst, who gets tired, who is sad, who is anxious, who is heckled and harassed, who has to put up with followers who dont get it and opponents who dont respect Him- what kind of God is that? its a god on too human a scale, thats what...What is there to inspire in this Son?
Love, said father Martin. " He becomes a christian- and says: "Then i raced down the hill on the left and racedup the hill on the right- to offer thanks to Lord Krishna for having put Jesus of Nazareth, whos humanity I foudn so compelling, in my way." Hehehe- He becomes a totally devoted Hindu, and Christian, Muslim and Islamic and his house is full of shrines and crosses and candles and words and books.
" He brought his hands next to his ears, thumbs touching the lobes, looking as if he were straining to hear Allah speaking. He bent forward. he stood straight again. He fell to his knees and brough his hansd and forehaead to the floor, he sat up. he fell forward again. he stood. He started teh whole thing again...I challange anyone to understand Islam, its spirit, and not to love is. It is a beautfiul religion of brotherhood and devotion. The mosque was trily an open construction, to God and to breeze."
"He was a Sufi, a Muslim mystic. He sought fana, union with God, and his relationship with God was personal and loving. "If you take two steps to God," he used to tell me, "God runs to you!"
Quota rama- and i havent even made my point. Its coming 8D
It really made me think about a lot of things-
Firstly, how little i know about other religions.
Secondly, how much i SHOULD really know about other religions. Because in truth, the same God is central in all of them, wether polytheistic or ..the 'one' one. I think anyway.
I remember learning somewhere that from the ancientest more ancient human civilisation, all civ9ilisations have had a belief system and religion. Its because God- the only creator of everything has always revealed his authority and power as God to humans.
Though for some reason, he has revealed hismelf in many different ways, that or Humans have taken these revelations a different way to everyone else. I mean, everyone has their own account of how the world and universe was created. and each centers around a power God- that someone of spiritual nature intended us to live (as appose to us being the products of nothing but a chemical reaction with no meaning or purpose- as athiests say)
Why do we all believe that its a God that put us here? It is my belief that God the creator hard wired our little human brains to seek him. It makes sence- for if our craetion has a purpose, surely God would want us to know who he is so we can worhsip him and love him as God.
SO- why are all these interpretations of God so different?
perhpas its like a multifaced diamond. Maybe in a polytheistic religion, there is a God who is characterised by his anger and wrath, a goddess for the miracle of birth and furtility, another for kindness and love. In a ...monotheistic religion (?) God embodies all thse things. Perhaps, these aspects of gods are all parts of Christian God's very large character ( no disrespect to polysthestic religions- just saying how other religions are not so different to Christianity)
Grr...
I MEAN- i find that from my glimps at other religions throughthet Life of Pi that they seem to focus on the might of God the creator- the wonders of his POWER and AUTHORITY- and you always get this sence in how hardcore muslims and Islamics and hindus and other realigions stick to firmly to their rituals and things because it is deeps nar eal FEAR of God- not terror but that True, unshakable respect.
Christianity focuses on the LOVe of God. we now of Gods power and authirty and righteous wrath like everyone else, except our whole belief and lifestyle is in the fact that God IS love. he is the epitome of love in all its aspects and it is what compelled him to die. This love is greater than his authority and power in a way because it is the driving force in how he has used it to creat e the world, us, how he sustains us, and how he will live with us after the world dies.
Its a very beautiful concept and reality- but i find...
As christians, because of this very strong Focus on LOVe- we seem to get a bit- Fatty, pudjy around teh edges...spiritually Tubby when it comes to Reverant fear to God. We are so layed back in the 'softiness' of lvoe and forgiveness that the other sides of the multiface diamond are ignored. We can't possibly worship God propperly if we can't climb the giant hill of self-sacrifice when we are so unfit. These rituals of other religions, if done with the right attitude rather than done out of habit, are so beautiful and true, maybe we shodl take a leaf from their books? .
so- if all these religions are so similar in a way that all religions point to God, then why is there so much conflict? Its because we all have different paths to God- paths to salvation. Because salvation is so crucial, yet we're all so different, thats where our conflict is, and you find that most religions are totally identical save fo the way you are 'saved'. Is it karma or Christ? works or love? Chance? Pleaing for your soul? forgiveness?
Yea ive run out of D&M juice long ago...blurg *ded*
I have no fear of drowning
its the breathing thats taking all this work...
And dear Suchu - thankyou for your very pretty and lengthy comment :D I lost the linkt oyour blog, which reminds me that i must find gen's to and add it to the list...if im abel to that is- all that coding is frightening.
And dear Meegs- thankyou for your very pretty but not lenthy comment, it was beautiful :D
Carry me-
im just a dead man
lying on the carpet
can't find aheart beat
Weeeeee :D
Make me breathe
i wanna be a new man
tired of the old one
out with the old plan
Anyway, i DO have something to blog about so i better turn my music down or i can't articulate it.
IT alll started one bright and sunny day when i was taking a train to the city to meet Ms Innuendo to watch Happy Feet. To pass the time i took along my handy dandy MP3 and the book Life of Pi.
I came upon chapter 16 (slow reader :D ) and i think its one of the most thought provoking passages i have ever read in a book. I really encouage you all to read it. Apparently, i might have dreamt it but i think it muight be an english text, but read it anyway!
In the book, young Pi, a very devout hindi boy, is finding himself stumbling into various holy houses- temples and churches and mosques.
I confess, that the chunk of passage that caught my thinking-ness the most was when he was looking at christianity from a Hindi perspective-because im bias, naturally :D Ill put it here:
"I was quiet that evening at the hotel. (he had just visited a priest and had been told the gosple)
That a god should put up with adversity, I could understand. The gods of Hinduism face their fair share of thieves, bullies, kidnappers and usurpers. What is the Ramayana but the account of one long, bad day of Rama? Adversity, yes. Reversals of fortune, yes. Treachery, yes, But humiliation? Death? I couldn't imagine Lord Krishna consenting to be stripped, naked, whipped, mocked, dragged through the streets and, to top it off, crucified- and at the hands of mere humans, to boot. I'd never heard of a Hindu god dying. Brahman Revealed did not go for death. Devils and monsters did, as did mortals, but the thousands and millions-that's what they were there for. Matter, too, fell away. But divity should not be blighten by death. Its wrong. The world soul cannot die, even in one contained part of it. it was wrong of this Christian God to let his avatar die. That is tantamount to letting a part of Himself die. For if the Son is to die, it cannot be fake...Father Martin assued me that it was (n't). But once a dead God, always a dead God, even resurrected. The Son must have the taste of death forever in His mouth. The Trinity must be tained by it; there must be a certain stench at the right hand of God the Father. The horror must be real. Why would God wish that upon Himself? Why not leave death to the morals? Why make dirty what is beautiful, spoil what is perfect?
Love. that was Father Martin's answer."
let me put one more paragraph..please... :D
"There is a story of Vishnu incarnated as Vamana the dwarf. He asks the demon king Bali only as much land as he can cover in three strides. Bali laughs at this run of a suitor and his puny erquest. he consents. Immediatly Vishnu takes on his full cosmic size. with one Stide he covers teh earth, with teh second the heavens, and with the third he boots Bali into the nether world...
That is God as God should be. With shine and poer and might. such as can rescue and save and put down evil.
This SOn, on teh other hand, who goes hungry, who suffers from thirst, who gets tired, who is sad, who is anxious, who is heckled and harassed, who has to put up with followers who dont get it and opponents who dont respect Him- what kind of God is that? its a god on too human a scale, thats what...What is there to inspire in this Son?
Love, said father Martin. " He becomes a christian- and says: "Then i raced down the hill on the left and racedup the hill on the right- to offer thanks to Lord Krishna for having put Jesus of Nazareth, whos humanity I foudn so compelling, in my way." Hehehe- He becomes a totally devoted Hindu, and Christian, Muslim and Islamic and his house is full of shrines and crosses and candles and words and books.
" He brought his hands next to his ears, thumbs touching the lobes, looking as if he were straining to hear Allah speaking. He bent forward. he stood straight again. He fell to his knees and brough his hansd and forehaead to the floor, he sat up. he fell forward again. he stood. He started teh whole thing again...I challange anyone to understand Islam, its spirit, and not to love is. It is a beautfiul religion of brotherhood and devotion. The mosque was trily an open construction, to God and to breeze."
"He was a Sufi, a Muslim mystic. He sought fana, union with God, and his relationship with God was personal and loving. "If you take two steps to God," he used to tell me, "God runs to you!"
Quota rama- and i havent even made my point. Its coming 8D
It really made me think about a lot of things-
Firstly, how little i know about other religions.
Secondly, how much i SHOULD really know about other religions. Because in truth, the same God is central in all of them, wether polytheistic or ..the 'one' one. I think anyway.
I remember learning somewhere that from the ancientest more ancient human civilisation, all civ9ilisations have had a belief system and religion. Its because God- the only creator of everything has always revealed his authority and power as God to humans.
Though for some reason, he has revealed hismelf in many different ways, that or Humans have taken these revelations a different way to everyone else. I mean, everyone has their own account of how the world and universe was created. and each centers around a power God- that someone of spiritual nature intended us to live (as appose to us being the products of nothing but a chemical reaction with no meaning or purpose- as athiests say)
Why do we all believe that its a God that put us here? It is my belief that God the creator hard wired our little human brains to seek him. It makes sence- for if our craetion has a purpose, surely God would want us to know who he is so we can worhsip him and love him as God.
SO- why are all these interpretations of God so different?
perhpas its like a multifaced diamond. Maybe in a polytheistic religion, there is a God who is characterised by his anger and wrath, a goddess for the miracle of birth and furtility, another for kindness and love. In a ...monotheistic religion (?) God embodies all thse things. Perhaps, these aspects of gods are all parts of Christian God's very large character ( no disrespect to polysthestic religions- just saying how other religions are not so different to Christianity)
Grr...
I MEAN- i find that from my glimps at other religions throughthet Life of Pi that they seem to focus on the might of God the creator- the wonders of his POWER and AUTHORITY- and you always get this sence in how hardcore muslims and Islamics and hindus and other realigions stick to firmly to their rituals and things because it is deeps nar eal FEAR of God- not terror but that True, unshakable respect.
Christianity focuses on the LOVe of God. we now of Gods power and authirty and righteous wrath like everyone else, except our whole belief and lifestyle is in the fact that God IS love. he is the epitome of love in all its aspects and it is what compelled him to die. This love is greater than his authority and power in a way because it is the driving force in how he has used it to creat e the world, us, how he sustains us, and how he will live with us after the world dies.
Its a very beautiful concept and reality- but i find...
As christians, because of this very strong Focus on LOVe- we seem to get a bit- Fatty, pudjy around teh edges...spiritually Tubby when it comes to Reverant fear to God. We are so layed back in the 'softiness' of lvoe and forgiveness that the other sides of the multiface diamond are ignored. We can't possibly worship God propperly if we can't climb the giant hill of self-sacrifice when we are so unfit. These rituals of other religions, if done with the right attitude rather than done out of habit, are so beautiful and true, maybe we shodl take a leaf from their books? .
so- if all these religions are so similar in a way that all religions point to God, then why is there so much conflict? Its because we all have different paths to God- paths to salvation. Because salvation is so crucial, yet we're all so different, thats where our conflict is, and you find that most religions are totally identical save fo the way you are 'saved'. Is it karma or Christ? works or love? Chance? Pleaing for your soul? forgiveness?
Yea ive run out of D&M juice long ago...blurg *ded*
Friday, January 05, 2007
Oh troubled boy, just because you like to destroy, all the things that bring the idiots joy WELL, whats wrong with a little destruction?
REally, Franz Ferdinand are the bees knees of music. Trully, So original, innovative, creative + they're scottish. WOO!
Yea i have no D&M today either.
Holidays havebeen pretty quiet, (BECUASEE IVE BEEN SO ANTISOCIAL) in truth, i feel rather guilty about being so anti-scoial, so to all my friends: MY APPLOGIES!! I will make it up...atschool... :D
Anyway- hey a gpood thing to do now is to do like Davia did in her post and REFLECT on the past year. thats pretty D&M..
This year has been pretty awesome i reckon. ONe of the best. Well, all the other years of my past are sort of fading into my memory so im pretty sure this is the best.
I think one of the best things is that ive become an ANTI-N00B CHUM! Wee :D my chums are wonderful, and i think this is the first year in the history of Ta that she has ever missed any chum during the school holidays :D I think my Azn Heart is melting D8
Trully, spending recesses and lunch with the Pentagon (or some other geometric shape) under teh tree next to the railwaytracks has been totally Uber. Geneuber, in fact (which actually means Opposite, BUT it has the word Uber in it, so we can over look that)
One NOT SO COOl thing that happened this year was the hellish assignments we got in term 3. That was not cool, and we look forward to more of these in the year to come- 07. I mean, the year that is already here.
Oh and i got confirmed this year too. That was pretty spectacular i must say. And perhaps, i can say too that i am learning to become a more anti-n00b chum at church too with all you church buddies. Learning, learning- even though i've known you guys have exsisted since forever, i might say that this is the first time ive actually exchanged words. Talk about sentimental. I tell you im looking forward to a new year of N00bing- oF being the offical old people at YF (escpecially Jono) and also YOUTH SERVICE and becomeing more B&SIC (bros and sis in Christ) . Weeew :D
B-&-S-I-C...yes thats the book for me...
This CHRISTMAS was pertty Busy Bee for me. me and my fiddle. On christmas eve the nursing home trip was pretty uber- we only visited 2 places in the nursing home because the sunday shcool teachers split up teh whole group into two, and i had to make up 'We wish you a merry christmas' on the spot because aunty kim forgot to tell me that we had to play it. I have to say that was a very proud anti-noob time, even though i was particularily spiteful when Aunty kim got me to play a solo while the offertry Bag was being passed around >8( PBW that was awful. But at the same time wonderfullly Anti-noob. yOu know i love it :D
And and and I played at WIS on the christmas eve service! and i had to play tres uber freaky Intro to the songs that icould never get right, but God helped me get the cues right. Man.
AND then we sane the hallejuja Chorus with the family. Man, the practice sucked but it was so funny i coulodnt stop laughing. ANd in the actual thing i lipsynced a whole page and tried not to listen to mum who wasnext to me because she was out of tune. BUT- everyone said it was...good... And anyway the Supper afterwards made up with all that cake my mum made and the chips and crackers and salsa and things.
That was tres fun.
ANNNNNNND- I got a Tablet for Christmas! And so i've been doing more Computer generated things on the computer, and and and now im drawing a picture for Davia. Should be Good! but no where near finished. This is waht ive been doing far the past few weeks of the holidays- at my computer, not even on Msn. On hamachi, yes. In Darkstone, yes. And Paint Shop pro, Yes. But not on MSN where there is an ounce of being socialble with other people. So in essence, i had fully isolated myself in my house AND on the internet. :D Except slaying mighty Xeris' with my 38+ MAster Sword with BAyne the mighty and dexterous thIEf with a total PWnage Bow and Magic Missile Shurikens until deep in the nightime of 12 midnight. Gahhh- then sleeping in until 11. Man- how awesome :D :D :D
OKK mum is telling me to get off the compy and get changed so we can walk to koorong. Ill see yall later one day - CIAO
Yea i have no D&M today either.
Holidays havebeen pretty quiet, (BECUASEE IVE BEEN SO ANTISOCIAL) in truth, i feel rather guilty about being so anti-scoial, so to all my friends: MY APPLOGIES!! I will make it up...atschool... :D
Anyway- hey a gpood thing to do now is to do like Davia did in her post and REFLECT on the past year. thats pretty D&M..
This year has been pretty awesome i reckon. ONe of the best. Well, all the other years of my past are sort of fading into my memory so im pretty sure this is the best.
I think one of the best things is that ive become an ANTI-N00B CHUM! Wee :D my chums are wonderful, and i think this is the first year in the history of Ta that she has ever missed any chum during the school holidays :D I think my Azn Heart is melting D8
Trully, spending recesses and lunch with the Pentagon (or some other geometric shape) under teh tree next to the railwaytracks has been totally Uber. Geneuber, in fact (which actually means Opposite, BUT it has the word Uber in it, so we can over look that)
One NOT SO COOl thing that happened this year was the hellish assignments we got in term 3. That was not cool, and we look forward to more of these in the year to come- 07. I mean, the year that is already here.
Oh and i got confirmed this year too. That was pretty spectacular i must say. And perhaps, i can say too that i am learning to become a more anti-n00b chum at church too with all you church buddies. Learning, learning- even though i've known you guys have exsisted since forever, i might say that this is the first time ive actually exchanged words. Talk about sentimental. I tell you im looking forward to a new year of N00bing- oF being the offical old people at YF (escpecially Jono) and also YOUTH SERVICE and becomeing more B&SIC (bros and sis in Christ) . Weeew :D
B-&-S-I-C...yes thats the book for me...
This CHRISTMAS was pertty Busy Bee for me. me and my fiddle. On christmas eve the nursing home trip was pretty uber- we only visited 2 places in the nursing home because the sunday shcool teachers split up teh whole group into two, and i had to make up 'We wish you a merry christmas' on the spot because aunty kim forgot to tell me that we had to play it. I have to say that was a very proud anti-noob time, even though i was particularily spiteful when Aunty kim got me to play a solo while the offertry Bag was being passed around >8( PBW that was awful. But at the same time wonderfullly Anti-noob. yOu know i love it :D
And and and I played at WIS on the christmas eve service! and i had to play tres uber freaky Intro to the songs that icould never get right, but God helped me get the cues right. Man.
AND then we sane the hallejuja Chorus with the family. Man, the practice sucked but it was so funny i coulodnt stop laughing. ANd in the actual thing i lipsynced a whole page and tried not to listen to mum who wasnext to me because she was out of tune. BUT- everyone said it was...good... And anyway the Supper afterwards made up with all that cake my mum made and the chips and crackers and salsa and things.
That was tres fun.
ANNNNNNND- I got a Tablet for Christmas! And so i've been doing more Computer generated things on the computer, and and and now im drawing a picture for Davia. Should be Good! but no where near finished. This is waht ive been doing far the past few weeks of the holidays- at my computer, not even on Msn. On hamachi, yes. In Darkstone, yes. And Paint Shop pro, Yes. But not on MSN where there is an ounce of being socialble with other people. So in essence, i had fully isolated myself in my house AND on the internet. :D Except slaying mighty Xeris' with my 38+ MAster Sword with BAyne the mighty and dexterous thIEf with a total PWnage Bow and Magic Missile Shurikens until deep in the nightime of 12 midnight. Gahhh- then sleeping in until 11. Man- how awesome :D :D :D
OKK mum is telling me to get off the compy and get changed so we can walk to koorong. Ill see yall later one day - CIAO
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)